Divorce settlement negotiations can be highly emotional. However, being prepared to effectively negotiate can make all the difference in securing what is rightfully yours.
It’s important to think long-term when deciding how to divide your assets and debts. You should consider how each asset or debt may impact your financial future, such as tax consequences or income-generation potential.
1. Keep Your Eye on the Prize
When it comes to dividing assets and negotiating terms in a divorce settlement, the goal is to secure what’s rightfully yours. While this may seem straightforward enough, it isn’t always easy. This is especially true if you are divorcing with children and the emotions of parenting issues can often make it difficult to focus on financial negotiations. If you want to successfully navigate a divorce settlement, it’s essential to keep your eye on the prize and not let insignificant disagreements distract you from your goals.
A big part of this is understanding what your real needs are. It’s not enough to think that your settlement is fair on paper – you must be certain that you will have the resources needed to live comfortably once it takes effect. This includes calculating your regular expenses, such as housing, utilities, car payments, insurance premiums, credit card balances, and any childcare costs. It is also important to understand how taxes will impact your finances and be able to articulate your financial needs to the judge.
It’s also important to remember that not everything you say during a divorce is private. Any texts, emails, or other electronic communication you send could be used against you in court, so it’s best to remain on the level and professional when discussing any issues related to your case.
Finally, it’s essential to remember that a divorce settlement is not just about property and assets – it also involves dividing debts. While this can be an extremely emotional topic, it’s vital to keep in mind that fairness requires compromise on both sides of the table. If you are struggling to reach a debt division agreement with your spouse, it may be helpful to consult a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) for advice on how to proceed.
2. Don’t Let Your Emotions Get the Best of You
The mix of emotions that accompanies a divorce is sometimes confusing and overwhelming. The good news is that there are resources available to help you cope with your menagerie of feelings in a productive way. In fact, studies have shown that those who practice self-compassion are able to handle the difficult parts of the process better in the long run.
During the settlement negotiation phase of a divorce, it is important to remain in control of your emotions. If you lose control, your spouse and their attorney will quickly learn what your triggers are, giving them an advantage in the process and potentially stalling out any progress in negotiations. Keeping your cool can also help you save thousands and thousands of dollars in legal costs, time and energy.
It is important to remember that your spouse, and their lawyer, are also dealing with their own emotions during the process. It is not uncommon for them to have their own personal agendas and goals that may not align with yours. Try to put yourself in their shoes and acknowledge that they have emotional triggers, perceptions and perceived injustices regarding their divorce. This will allow you to negotiate a fair settlement and avoid being taken advantage of during the process.
When negotiating a divorce settlement, it is imperative to gather all of the information regarding your finances. This includes checking accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, pensions and any other financial assets. Additionally, it is important to take into consideration any outstanding debts, including credit card payments and loans. If you don’t have all of this information, it will be impossible to make a realistic settlement proposal.
In addition, it is crucial to stay civil during the process and after. This means refraining from defaming your ex on social media and not sharing any bitter comments with them, especially in front of your children. It also means avoiding acrimonious interactions with your ex-spouse’s friends and family members.
In addition, it is important to choose your divorce professional wisely. A reputable attorney will be knowledgeable about the law, confident in their ability to provide legal representation and have your best interests at heart. They should also be willing to work with your spouse’s lawyer to reach a reasonable settlement that is in everyone’s best interest.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
Divorce and separation is a highly emotional time for everyone involved. The menagerie of emotions can lead to confusion, misunderstandings, and disagreements. This is especially true when nitty-gritty financial details come up. It’s important to have an attorney that is knowledgeable about divorce law and can help guide you through these discussions with a calm, clear head. Your lawyer can also teach you how to control your emotions and prevent them from hijacking your negotiations.
For example, if you are trying to finalize your property settlement agreement, it is important to ask questions when you don’t understand something. The more you know, the more confident you will be in your ability to make informed decisions. In turn, this can increase your chances of getting a fair and satisfactory settlement.
Having the right information can also decrease your frustration and the amount of time you spend in court. For example, many people have trouble understanding the legal terms of their alimony and child support agreements. It’s important to know the laws in your jurisdiction and what your actual income is so you can determine if you should be paying or receiving alimony. Likewise, it’s important to know how the laws in your jurisdiction will affect any property division negotiations.
Finally, it’s important to avoid getting your information from unreliable sources. There is a lot of information available online about divorce and separation that can be misleading or inaccurate. This can set you up for a false expectation about how things “should” go or create unnecessary apprehensions about outcomes that may not be relevant to your situation.
In addition to seeking reliable information from professionals, it’s important to surround yourself with supportive people during this time. This includes being careful about who you vent to and avoiding badmouthing your ex on social media. This is a time to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually so you can be in a healthy place to make conscious decisions about your future. In addition, try to focus on your community by hosting family dinners or attending local events. This will help you stay connected to others and model to your children that divorce doesn’t have to mean isolation.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Negotiate
A divorce is a stressful time and it’s normal to have intense emotions. However, it’s important to learn how to manage those emotions, especially when negotiating a divorce settlement. Losing control of your emotions will cause you to make poor decisions and can even stall your negotiated settlement. If you are struggling to maintain control, consider hiring a therapist and/or staying off social media.
Emotional outbursts at the negotiation table can hurt your chances of a fair settlement and may cause the other spouse to view you as a difficult person to work with. Your lawyer can help you find ways to deal with negative emotions such as anger and resentment while allowing you to still exert your legal rights.
When deciding what you want to ask for in your settlement, it’s helpful to have back-up documentation to support your position. This includes any documents you may have that show what your assets are, the cost of certain items and any other relevant information. This will allow you to negotiate in a more informed manner and can save both you and your spouse time and money.
It’s also a good idea to include any debt in your financial settlement, such as credit card balances, student loans and any other outstanding balances. Lastly, don’t forget to include any jewelry or other valuable items of sentimental value that you and your spouse would like to keep.
If you are able to agree on the terms of your divorce settlement, it’s a good idea to get this agreement in writing. Once it’s written, you can file it with the court to have it included in your divorce decree. Once it’s in your decree, it becomes an enforceable court order and you will be able to enforce any obligations you have under the settlement.
